Insight #3: Navigating difficult decisions: My move to PA

Removing yourself from everything you love and everything that you've ever known is probably one of the scariest things to do in life. Many people can't adjust to such a drastic change because the uncomfortable feeling of starting over with no one to turn to is too much for them. Leaving family and friends behind and essentially starting from scratch is a huge move to make. To be honest, I thought I would never be able to put myself in such a situation. However, when given the option to, all of that changes.

The Context

I just completed my first semester at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) as a graduate student within the Student Affairs in Higher Education (SAHE) program. Ask me how I ended up in Pennsylvania out of all places and it'll take a solid 15 minutes to explain, but here I am. This is honestly the last place I thought I would ever be. However, I am here because of a decision I made, a decision that was made based off of intuition.

Last year I was faced with one of the toughest decisions of my life: attend graduate school at an institution close to home, or, go somewhere far, far away. As a person who doesn't like to make big decisions, this stressed me out so much. However, something was pulling me towards the idea of a new start. Even after all of the people I reached out to and all of the research I did, I ultimately went with my gut feeling.

At the end of the day, when we are all faced with a decision, we know deep down what it is we need to do. We have the answers in our mind, we just don't want to be real with ourselves and make such a crucial decision. Why? Because we are too scared of the change that is coupled with making these decisions. However, the moment we allow this fear to hold us back is the moment that we limit our opportunities for experiencing life.

So some of you may be wondering how I made up my mind within this predicament. For you to fully understand my decision, let me make something clear.

"The decision wasn't made, it was always there from the start. I just had to trick myself into seeing it."

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I had that solid gut feeling within me. I knew deep down what it was that I needed to do. I just wasn't being real with myself and had a tough time facing this reality. So what did I do? As a graduate from the University of Rhode Island's leadership department, I did what any leadership minor would do, I turned to a decision making method.

(This is just a sample and does not represent my actual decision.)

The PACED Decision Making Model

In short, the PACED decision making model allows you to make decisions between alternatives (graduate programs in this case) with criteria (things to consider from each grad program such as cost, location, etc.). When alternatives and criteria have been chosen, you go through each program numbering the specific criteria on a 1-5 scale of how each program satisifies that certain criteria. Once complete, add up the numbers and each program receives a score, the highest score is the best decision.

Well, I went through this process, tallied up the numbers, and in the end it turned out that the other programs had received a higher score than Pennsylvania's program. At this moment, I was a bit confused and recounted the numbers to see if I had made an error. There was no error. I looked back over it and even manipulated some of the numbers but nope, PA's program still came up with a lower score. And then it hit me: if I'm attempting to manipulate these scores so that PA's program shows up to be the best decision, what does this say about what I ultimately want?

I vividly remember smiling and laughing at myself at this point. I had just tricked myself into understanding what was ultimately not a decision at all. The answer was always within me, it was there all along. I had allowed this barrier of fear to prevent me from moving on to what is now the next chapter of my life that I am living.

After I had this realization, it was as if this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. For those of you who dislike making tough decisions, you know exactly what that feels like. Instead of allowing yourself to get worked up about making a decision, take the time to relax. Really dig down to the core of your being and feel what it is that you are more naturally attracted towards. The answer lies within your being.

I provided my own personal example of this type of situation with hopes that maybe this can better reach some of you. At the end of the day, the answer rests within you. It make take you some time to realize it, but eventually it'll appear. The important thing is: what are you going to do when it comes down to it?

If you find that the PACED decision making model seems too complicated, try this: take a coin, designating your two decisions respectively to heads or tails, flip it and see the results. However, don't focus on whether the coin landed on heads or tails, focus on that feeling within your chest as the coin was up in the air. What side were you wishing for that coin to land on? There's your answer...

References:

Polk County Public Schools. (2012). PACED: Decision making model. Retrieved from

https://www.polk-fl.net/students/academiccompetitions/documents/resources/

PACEDDecision-MakingModel.pdf